NH Suicide Survivors Network
2006 Newsletter
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The NH Suicide Survivors Network is individuals helping each other deal with the emotional aftermath of suicide. We are survivors, plus some mental health professionals, who are helping publicize resources within New Hampshire that provide non-material support to anyone who has lost a relative or friend to suicide.
Many of us are also involved in suicide prevention work, but here we focus on helping each other with the unique, profound, lingering issues that suicide subjects us to, and which those who have not experienced a death by suicide can only begin to imagine.
What is an SOS group?
SOS is a support group for those who have lost a family member, relative or friend to suicide. Groups share among themselves their thoughts and questions about issues unique to bereavement of suicide.
Some groups are run by a professional counselor, while others are peer-facilitated, which means that meetings are led by members of the group.
“Closed” support groups meet for typically 8 sessions, with planned weekly agendas about the stages of grieving. “Open” groups allow participants to attend on an ongoing basis, either regularly or on a drop-in, “as-needed” basis. Some holidays, or anniversaries, are harder times than others.
When do the SOS groups meet?
Support groups meet monthly or twice-monthly, usually in the late afternoon or early evening, for one to two hours, depending on the needs of the groups’ members.
Why join a support group?
Bereaved parents, spouses, siblings, sons or daughters, friends and co-workers – anyone who feels they need support in their grieving would benefit from joining a support group. In SOS, they find a place where they can talk frankly, freely and sometimes intimately with others who share their experiences with suicide.
Some feel shy at first, but are relieved to find they can just listen, without any expectation that they share their experiences until they are comfortable with the group.
Why do Survivors need each other’s support?
Those who have not experienced the trauma of losing someone to suicide often can not understand the feelings that such a loss incurs. SOS members, on the other hand, understand each other at a very deep level because of what each has been through.
Fellow survivors can offer great comfort through conversations and discussions. Sharing answers to mutual questions helps our understanding of what’s “normal.” Those who are in the midst of this unique grieving are comforted to find that since others have been through the same cycles of anger, guilt, despair, fear, and the like, their feelings which may have been difficult or even frightening may, in fact, be seen as completely normal, under the circumstances.
How have SOS Groups helped participants who have lost someone they love to suicide?
"Other members of the SOS support group understand what I’m still going through, because they go through it too. We learn from each other how difficult the death day anniversary can be for each of us, and how others cope with this day. . . SOS helps me, and sharing my feelings sometimes even helps me help others." - Michael
"It has always been a place where I felt comfortable and safe, where I felt able to discuss and sort through the complex emotions that I have experienced as a result of his death.
It has also been a place where I have felt comfortable not saying anything at all – just listening and absorbing, and realizing how much other people’s experiences resonate with my own." - Laura
"Here, people listened, understood, didn’t attempt to “make it better,” let me grieve, rage, cry and wrestle with the interminable why’s, what if’s, and if only’s. I have come, on and off, for four years." - Sue
"Suicide is different because it is an action of cultural taboo; something unimaginable, unspeakable. . . Overwhelmed, we decide to hide our emotions or try to grieve in isolation. The group is a place where it’s safe to explore these feelings so that a sense of perspective and healing can begin." - Keith
NH SOS GROUPS
Concord - "Survivors of Suicide Concord Support Group" meets 2nd Thursday of every month at 7pm. Contact: Sue Hill (603) 435-5365
Exeter - "Healing After Suicide for Children and Families" Adult: 6-week closed groups 2x yr.
Child:10-week, spring and fall and as needed.
Contact: Elaine Wiesman (603) 778-7391
ewiesman@seacoasthospice.org
Hampstead - "Coping with a Loved One’s Suicide" Meeting time varies. Contact: Dan Wells (603) 329-5276 Dwells5@comcast.net
Keene - “Safe Place” Suicide Bereavement 6 to 8-week closed groups periodically & ongoing groups. Contact The Samaritans Inc. (603) 357-5510
Lebanon - "Upper Valley Survivors of Suicide" Two evenings a month. uvsos@valley.net Leave message (603) 448-5162 ext. 2063
North Conway - "SOS Bereavement Group" Meeting time varies. Contact Reverand Anne Roser (603) 356-7827
Nationwide - "Friends for Survival" Telephone support. Leave a message for a call back. 800-646-7322
** If you are interested in starting your own SOS group or want more information about existing groups, please contact Michael Whitman michael.whitman@valley.net or Michael Hill mike@nhha.org . If you have questions, comments or need additional information, please contact NHSOS@naminh.org
Internet Resources for Survivors
National Alliance on Mental Illness, NH American Foundation for Suicide Prevention American Association of Suicidology GriefNet - an online support group |
Suicide Prevention Advocacy Network SAVE - Suicide Awareness/Voices of Education Before Their Time - Music CD's |
Emergency Numbers
The Samaritans, Inc. Hotlines (NH)
(603) 357-5505 or (603) 924-7000
Teen Hotline: 1-877-583-TEEN
National Hotlines
Hopeline Network: 800-SUI-CIDE (784-2433)
Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255)
